Today has been the ultimate day from hell. Sadly, this will be my first blog post since starting my semester at SEMO, and it's a shame because now people will get the worst possible impression of how things are going for me. Oh well -- like I said, day from hell.
Let me preface this by saying that yesterday was going really well, until last night. I went to the Baptist Student Center at 9:00 PM for a Hitchcock movie night (love this holiday season!!!) I started not feeling well about a half hour into the movie and was feeling extremely tired and fatigued (still am). So, I came back to the dorm before 10 to go to bed. Unfortunately, someone with more authority than I has found it fit to change our heating/cooling system for the season; although I have my thermostat turned all the way down, on 55°F, I can't get the temperature below 73°F -- that's with the windows open to let in the near freezing outdoor air and with a high velocity fan blowing in the room. I don't sleep well when I'm too warm (I have trouble breathing when it's too warm), and 73° is absolutely stuffy in this room at night. So, I didn't sleep well last night.
When I woke up this morning, my hip was sore for no apparent reason whatsoever -- a gift from my dad, courtesy of genetics. If I don't have to have my knees replaced someday, it will most certainly be my hips instead.
As I was leaving the dorm for a quick breakfast before my first class of the day, I stopped at my truck to grab a notebook I needed. As I was putting the notebook in my backpack, I dropped my iPhone... my $500 16GB original iPhone... I watched helplessly as, in slow motion, my iPhone fell to the ground below, landing face-down on the parking lot. Although it still works, and the touch screen seems virtually unaffected, the top left corner of the screen is shattered, hairline cracks sprawling across the surface like a cracked windshield. Needless to say, I was upset. I called Apple this evening to find out about getting it replaced or repaired. Of course, "I'm sorry, but accidental damage isn't covered by the warranty" (what is -- intentional damage?!). "You have two options. Since it is an original iPhone, we can repair it for $249... Or, if you are eligible for an upgrade, you can get a 16 GB iPhone 3G for $299. This would start a new 2 year contract with AT&T." Guess who's living with a cracked iPhone for a good while.
First class: Linear Algebra. Not a huge deal, but I have a test in there on Thursday. Yay... I can't even begin to express my enthusiasm. //sarcasm... Still need to memorize three or four proofs. Fun stuff, let me tell you now - made even better by the fact that the guy words his problems entirely differently from the problems in the book, making it virtually impossible to look up examples.
Second class: Computer Science. Lab today. No big deal, straight forward. Work on the programming assignment given in the lab. Here's where I'm starting to get stressed. I have to set up an appointment with my advisor on or around November 4. I've never met my advisor. Her name is... let me look this up... /*Checking SEMO Portal to find advisor's name*/ ... Ziping Liu. My "Priority Registration" date is November 18, so I have to talk to my advisor to try to figure out my spring 2009 schedule and get my Alternate PIN so I can register for classes. Here's where the stress comes into play. I've realized since starting SEMO that the CS major revolves almost solely around programming. And while that may be fun and games, I'm not certain that it's what I want as my career. So much of it seems like busy work that is extremely time consuming and distracts from my other classes -- and while, yes, it may be teaching me logical reasoning and critical thinking skills, I feel like they're skillsets I'll only be using if I want to be a programmer full-time in the future.
This puts me in a bad situation. I currently have an A in Computer Science, Religion in America, and Linear Algebra. I have/had a borderline B in Economics (I'm getting to that topic), and a borderline B in Issues in Modern Architecture.
Next class: Economics. This is where I lose all sense of happiness (and yes, unfortunately even joy) in my day. I love this class, everything makes sense during the lectures, I volunteer correct answers and provide my personal insight into topics. Very enjoyable class.............. Today, I got my grade back on Exam 2. 69%. Devastating. I studied for THREE HOURS for this test. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't study for three hours for anything. That dropped my grade to a C. Fortunately, we have 15 total homework assignments, and she will drop the lowest 5 of them. With that in mind, if I drop my five lowest homework scores, I have an 80.4% - barely a B. This is not satisfactory, and is still very dangerous territory; there are only 3 regular exams, a comprehensive final, the homework assignments, a presentation, and a paper. I'm hoping I can do well enough on everything else to at least keep a B.
Final class of the day: Religion in America. My only good class of the day; very little to say, other than the fact that I have a paper due on November 5 for which I have not yet chosen a topic. Could do a "History of the Disciples of Christ" paper, but I'm really uninformed on that topic. Could do a paper on Billy Graham or something, but that seems so cliché. Still undecided. Fortunately, I can pump out a paper in a night if I have to. I can still proudly say I've never made anything but an A on any paper -- even the ones written in one sitting.
Another thing that's stressing me: the Honors Program. It makes everything more stressful, in every possible way. I have to complete eight total honors classes, either by taking classes specifically designated as "honors classes" or by completing "honors contracts." Because I'm a transfer junior, I have to complete an average of TWO of these EVERY semester. Which means that when I meet with my advisor who barely speaks Engrish, I have to somehow communicate to her that I want to fit not just one, but two, honors courses into my already CRAZY Computer Science schedule; and God only knows if she'll even be familiar with the way the Honors Program functions -- I've learned that at both colleges: a vast majority of the faculty are not familiar with the policies and regulations of the Honors Program. Yay. I'm already struggling academically, and I have to take harder, more time consuming courses. Then, I have the concern that if I don't stay in the Honors Program that I may not be able to stay in Vandiver.
Plus, I have this constant worry in the back of my mind (closer to the front of my mind recently), that if I don't maintain a 3.5 GPA this year, that my scholarships won't be renewable and I won't be able to afford an education.
And what if I'm not even sure that Computer Science is the right major for me? Do I really want to program and write codes for a living? If not, have I wasted a semester of my time and money already?
This is misery. A part of me is a dreamer who wishes he could get paid to just play the music he loves; I have no doubt in my God-given talent, and that I can play just as well as many professionals. But it's unrealistic to think that I could make a living doing it, just as it's unrealistic to think there's any money in writing.
Oh yeah, did I mention that I still don't have a job?
I'm sick.
Let me preface this by saying that yesterday was going really well, until last night. I went to the Baptist Student Center at 9:00 PM for a Hitchcock movie night (love this holiday season!!!) I started not feeling well about a half hour into the movie and was feeling extremely tired and fatigued (still am). So, I came back to the dorm before 10 to go to bed. Unfortunately, someone with more authority than I has found it fit to change our heating/cooling system for the season; although I have my thermostat turned all the way down, on 55°F, I can't get the temperature below 73°F -- that's with the windows open to let in the near freezing outdoor air and with a high velocity fan blowing in the room. I don't sleep well when I'm too warm (I have trouble breathing when it's too warm), and 73° is absolutely stuffy in this room at night. So, I didn't sleep well last night.
When I woke up this morning, my hip was sore for no apparent reason whatsoever -- a gift from my dad, courtesy of genetics. If I don't have to have my knees replaced someday, it will most certainly be my hips instead.
As I was leaving the dorm for a quick breakfast before my first class of the day, I stopped at my truck to grab a notebook I needed. As I was putting the notebook in my backpack, I dropped my iPhone... my $500 16GB original iPhone... I watched helplessly as, in slow motion, my iPhone fell to the ground below, landing face-down on the parking lot. Although it still works, and the touch screen seems virtually unaffected, the top left corner of the screen is shattered, hairline cracks sprawling across the surface like a cracked windshield. Needless to say, I was upset. I called Apple this evening to find out about getting it replaced or repaired. Of course, "I'm sorry, but accidental damage isn't covered by the warranty" (what is -- intentional damage?!). "You have two options. Since it is an original iPhone, we can repair it for $249... Or, if you are eligible for an upgrade, you can get a 16 GB iPhone 3G for $299. This would start a new 2 year contract with AT&T." Guess who's living with a cracked iPhone for a good while.
First class: Linear Algebra. Not a huge deal, but I have a test in there on Thursday. Yay... I can't even begin to express my enthusiasm. //sarcasm... Still need to memorize three or four proofs. Fun stuff, let me tell you now - made even better by the fact that the guy words his problems entirely differently from the problems in the book, making it virtually impossible to look up examples.
Second class: Computer Science. Lab today. No big deal, straight forward. Work on the programming assignment given in the lab. Here's where I'm starting to get stressed. I have to set up an appointment with my advisor on or around November 4. I've never met my advisor. Her name is... let me look this up... /*Checking SEMO Portal to find advisor's name*/ ... Ziping Liu. My "Priority Registration" date is November 18, so I have to talk to my advisor to try to figure out my spring 2009 schedule and get my Alternate PIN so I can register for classes. Here's where the stress comes into play. I've realized since starting SEMO that the CS major revolves almost solely around programming. And while that may be fun and games, I'm not certain that it's what I want as my career. So much of it seems like busy work that is extremely time consuming and distracts from my other classes -- and while, yes, it may be teaching me logical reasoning and critical thinking skills, I feel like they're skillsets I'll only be using if I want to be a programmer full-time in the future.
This puts me in a bad situation. I currently have an A in Computer Science, Religion in America, and Linear Algebra. I have/had a borderline B in Economics (I'm getting to that topic), and a borderline B in Issues in Modern Architecture.
Next class: Economics. This is where I lose all sense of happiness (and yes, unfortunately even joy) in my day. I love this class, everything makes sense during the lectures, I volunteer correct answers and provide my personal insight into topics. Very enjoyable class.............. Today, I got my grade back on Exam 2. 69%. Devastating. I studied for THREE HOURS for this test. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't study for three hours for anything. That dropped my grade to a C. Fortunately, we have 15 total homework assignments, and she will drop the lowest 5 of them. With that in mind, if I drop my five lowest homework scores, I have an 80.4% - barely a B. This is not satisfactory, and is still very dangerous territory; there are only 3 regular exams, a comprehensive final, the homework assignments, a presentation, and a paper. I'm hoping I can do well enough on everything else to at least keep a B.
Final class of the day: Religion in America. My only good class of the day; very little to say, other than the fact that I have a paper due on November 5 for which I have not yet chosen a topic. Could do a "History of the Disciples of Christ" paper, but I'm really uninformed on that topic. Could do a paper on Billy Graham or something, but that seems so cliché. Still undecided. Fortunately, I can pump out a paper in a night if I have to. I can still proudly say I've never made anything but an A on any paper -- even the ones written in one sitting.
Another thing that's stressing me: the Honors Program. It makes everything more stressful, in every possible way. I have to complete eight total honors classes, either by taking classes specifically designated as "honors classes" or by completing "honors contracts." Because I'm a transfer junior, I have to complete an average of TWO of these EVERY semester. Which means that when I meet with my advisor who barely speaks Engrish, I have to somehow communicate to her that I want to fit not just one, but two, honors courses into my already CRAZY Computer Science schedule; and God only knows if she'll even be familiar with the way the Honors Program functions -- I've learned that at both colleges: a vast majority of the faculty are not familiar with the policies and regulations of the Honors Program. Yay. I'm already struggling academically, and I have to take harder, more time consuming courses. Then, I have the concern that if I don't stay in the Honors Program that I may not be able to stay in Vandiver.
Plus, I have this constant worry in the back of my mind (closer to the front of my mind recently), that if I don't maintain a 3.5 GPA this year, that my scholarships won't be renewable and I won't be able to afford an education.
And what if I'm not even sure that Computer Science is the right major for me? Do I really want to program and write codes for a living? If not, have I wasted a semester of my time and money already?
This is misery. A part of me is a dreamer who wishes he could get paid to just play the music he loves; I have no doubt in my God-given talent, and that I can play just as well as many professionals. But it's unrealistic to think that I could make a living doing it, just as it's unrealistic to think there's any money in writing.
Oh yeah, did I mention that I still don't have a job?
I'm sick.
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